Moments in Gaming is where we look back on gaming experiences that have left a particularly strong impression on us over the years: mainly for good reasons, but sometimes for bad ones.
Boss battles aren’t the strongest part of Blur, Bizarre’s brilliant combat racer. Not only are too many of these ‘expert’ opponents easily dispatched, their characterisation is thin, going little beyond a video introduction, and meaning it’s hard to care that much about besting any of them.
‘What if there were two?’ That’s one way to try and escalate the sense of jeopardy.
And ‘what if they were Asian twin ladies?’ is a way of eliciting a bit of a sigh. Could they distract you by being sexy? Be careful, fellas, these girls are as fast as they are beautiful! (2011’s Need for Speed: The Run did something similar, and possibly even worse).
All of this is a prelude to one of the game’s more memorable moments, a rock-hard canyon race during which you either have to take out both opponents – Ayumi and Harumi – with weapons, or beat them to the finish line.
Barring a stroke of good fortune, the latter is near impossible. While all three of you are driving the same car, a Nissan Skyline, Blur cheats in the way that arguably all good arcade racers do, by making them just a little bit faster and better than you, keeping them one step ahead at all times.
Whether you’ll quite feel that way, after repeated unsuccessful attempts, is another matter. This game is stupid, it’s broken, it’s unfair… but let’s have another go anyway. The further downhill you get, the faster they go, and the promise of success during early skirmishes fades as their rear lights recede into the far distance.
There are no nitro pickups, either, to give yourself a late boost and somehow pull off a last-minute overtaking manoeuvre. Tweak that racing line all you like, they’ll still drive better than you.
The answer lies in Blur's second string: combat. To win, you’ll probably have to wreck both your rivals in double-quick time.
Again, you’re hamstrung by the limited arsenal on offer: no guided Shunts, no Shocks to fire in front of the leaders, and no silver bullet that will give you a little push towards victory when you need it most.
All you have are Mines and Bolts, which require pinpoint accuracy, or a Barge, if you happen to get close enough. Meanwhile your opponents have access to repairs and shields, meaning they can avoid damage and go from the brink of death to full health in an instant.
A solid strategy, then, is hyper aggression, using the skills honed in Blur's combat races, where it’s a matter of perfecting the firing of Bolts at drones against the clock. The ‘extra Bolt’ power up, giving you four shots per pickup rather than three, and earned during an earlier boss battle, is also a must.
Then, during the early stages, when your opportunities to get close are maximised, take every chance you get to hammer those Skylines with weapons.
After some near misses – maybe eliminating one opponent but not the other, or even getting nobbled yourself – success should follow. (As should the traditionally extravagant celebrations, accompanied by foul language, that do you very little credit).
Whether it should appear slap bang in the middle of the career mode might suggest it’s there by accident rather than design, but in a game generally marked by moderate difficulty and steady progress stalled only by the player’s sense of perfectionism, it’s good to have at least one ‘fuck you, I win!’ moment.