A long, long, time ago on FFG we used to have a feature called The Cupboard of Shame. The phrase was a euphemism for the place we put the games that, for one reason or another, we wished we’d never bought in the first place. It didn’t mean those games were necessarily all that bad, although sometimes that was the case.
More often than not, the shame referred to the fact that we ended up getting something that we wouldn’t normally go for, and despite dithering briefly in the shop, ultimately convincing ourselves that proceeding would be a good decision, only for the game to remain unplayed, sometimes unopened, on the shelf.
After some time, the guilt associated with our foolishness would get to us and we’d have to move these games somewhere else, where they couldn’t mock us so openly (“Ha! Back to your easy racing games again, eh? When are you going to grow a pair and play a REAL game?”) – into a dark and dusty place, known colloquially as The Cupboard of Shame.
In a bid to give these unwanted games a home, we opened up the doors of our respective cupboards and published the list of games on the site, asking for any interested parties to come forward and claim anything that took their fancy, asking for nothing but the cost of postage to be covered in return.
As an endeavour, it was well-meaning but fairly unsuccessful. From my point of view, I can recall a mighty scramble for my copy of System Shock and a collection of Police Quest games, with little interest being registered in anything else. (Police Quest proved to be a complicated and, ultimately, loss-making saga, as I dispatched the goods to the US, failed to receive any payment for the postage for a number of weeks, and ended up buying the same games again years later anyway).
Anyway, now the Cupboard returns, this time via the medium of eBay. Here’s what’s on offer:
Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow – Stealth games, stealth games, stealth games. Who knows why I buy them, when I know I cannot play them? I gave the original about twenty minutes before giving up, meaning this impulse purchase remains untouched and sealed.
Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas & Grand Theft Auto III – No regrets about either of these, only the way I went about acquiring the GTA series. Instead of buying the GTA pack the first time it was in the Steam sale, I got Vice City on its own, then picked up boxed copies of these two, bringing the total bill to…well, more than the cost of the GTA pack in the Steam sale.
Messiah – A classic case of getting something that I wasn’t interested in at the time, years after release, somehow figuring that the intervening years would make it more appealing. I’m never going to play it, so hopefully someone else will want my copy.
Return to Castle Wolfenstein and Red Faction – In 2007 my wife went on holiday with her mum and I stayed at home and experienced the expected regression into eccentricity-bordering-on-madness: eating pizza every night, watching films I’d already seen into the early hours of the morning, washing less frequently, and buying games on eBay without a care in the world. Embarrassingly, these are two games I bought with the intention of reviewing for FFG, only for Stoo and JMan, respectively, to beat me to it. Would things have been any different if they hadn’t? Probably not.
Homeworld – A classic case of buying something because some reviews said, “Worth a look, even if you don’t like strategy games.” They should have added, “But probably not worth buying if you’re quite thick.” I last played this in 2001, the day I bought it, and got about halfway through the tutorial before realising my mistake. It’s supposed to be quite good though – Stoo says so.
That’s it for now – for PC stuff at least. I’m getting rid of some PSP games too, including more stealth games (see above). The full listing is here.
There could be more to come, from both of us. Hopefully this doesn’t come across as me pushing eBay sales onto you (frankly, even if they all go I don’t think I’ll be looking at a net profit), and the intention in posting here is to own up to something that most of us probably experience – however eager we are to commit to these things, there are too many games and too little time. My genuine hope, if it doesn’t sound too cheesy, is that these games find a home where someone will get some use and enjoyment out of them. If eBay is no good, then it may be down to the charity shop with some of these. Or maybe they’ll be back to the cupboard for a little while longer.
Update: Success! Everything sold. Currently having some trouble persuading one of the buyers to pay up, but apart from that, it all went pretty well. Prepare for Round 2…
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