So, when I first decided to do this Alpha Protocol thing, I guess my initial idea was to play for a bit, find something vaguely RPG-like that would normally scare me off, and then write about it. There’d be all kinds of different things, I thought…it could be a kind of weekly ‘feature’ until the game got too hard, or I got bored, or I decided to do an actual proper review of an old game [Now there’s an idea – FFG reader].

Since the genesis of this idea, though, the thought struck me that most of my RPG fears boil down to essentially one thing – the freedom to make choices. Frankly, not knowing what I’m supposed to do next scares the hell out of me in the gaming world as much as it does in real life. Which is kind of sad really, seeing as games are supposed to liberate you from the crushing weight of your everyday responsibilities rather than add to them.

But we’ll get onto that some other time. I’m going to be talking about my inability to make decisions, especially in RPGs, in subsequent posts, so in the interests of adding some small level of variety to this whole enterprise, we’ll start with something else.

In fact, let’s start with a decision-making process that’s really not that taxing at all. Now, in Alpha Protocol, you play Michael ‘Mike’ Thorton, a super-spy who can do loads of spy stuff (but not that well at the start, until you level-up and buy gadgets and do all the other RPG stuff that’s necessary). With the role of hero already cast, you don’t have to spend (waste) time customising your character to make him/her look exactly/nothing like you.

Well, you can alter your appearance by changing a handful of settings, but the number of options is so limited that you’re basically left with two choices – either keep Thorton looking as the developers intended:

Or you can make him look like a total prick, instead:

(Incidentally, Thorton does seem to act like a bit of a knob most of the time, but, again, we’ll get onto that later).

Some might say this is disappointing, but frankly, anything that saves dicking around with sliders for half-an-hour or so, altering the bushiness and height of a fake computer game character’s eyebrows, is fine by me. So, er, hoorah for Obsidian!

Back to moaning now. One of the things about being in Alpha Protocol (the government agency, that is, not the game – that’s Alpha Protocol) is that it’s so secretive they can’t risk giving you any money. Fortunately, though, there’s plenty of it just lying around. Seriously, there are piles of cash everywhere. Yoink!

And so we come to the first thing about RPGs I can’t get to grips with: there’s stuff, everywhere, inexplicably just sitting there waiting for you to take it (in some cases it does seem to involve breaking and entering, although often non-player characters don’t seem to notice, or mind, anyway).

Some of this stuff could be important, some of it could be totally useless. But what to take and what to leave behind? I’m the kind of person who wants to pick everything up, just in case. You soon run out of room, no matter how big your pockets are.

Admittedly, this hasn’t been a problem so far in Alpha Protocol – cash is nice and light, and it’s definitely important, so I’ve been taking it, and I’ve usually shot whoever it belonged to anyway, because they were shooting at me, so I don’t feel too bad. But then of course, you get around to wondering how to spend all that money. That sounds like a tricky decision to me.

Recently I purchased the game Alpha Protocol. Despite mixed reviews, it’s one I fancied getting ever since the first set of previews started doing the rounds. As I’ve mentioned before, genuine ‘spy’ games in the Bourne Identity mould are few and far between, and I reckon there’s definitely a gap in the market for a decent one. Or even a half-decent one.

So, when the nefarious/brilliant Steam sale dropped its price to a fiver, it was too much to resist. And unlike many of my impulse purchases, I actually started playing it rather than hoarding it away in my metaphorical digital cupboard for an unspecified time in the near future when I would be ‘less busy’.

So far, I like it. But there’s a problem: it’s an RPG. It even says it on the box, in capital letters: THE ESPIONAGE RPG. Now, my experience with RPGs is a brief and largely unhappy one, limited to the following:

1) Dungeon Master – I played this a bit when I was a wee lad. But I don’t remember getting very far, or an awful lot about it. Here’s what I can recall: some monsters looked like vegetables and when you killed them you could safely eat their remains; also, when you accidentally walked into a wall there was an amusing ‘whooyah’ noise which became so ingrained in my consciousness that to this day I involuntarily echo it whenever I sustain minor injury in real life.

2) Deus Ex – I don’t reckon this really counts, because it hides all of its RPG-ness to the extent that you don’t really realise that it is one. When I played it, I thought of it more as a shooter with a few interesting choices to make along the way. But, on the other hand, if it doesn’t count, that’s the only RPG I’ve ever finished out of the window. So we’ll call it an RPG.

3) Fallout – I bought this with the intention of playing and reviewing it for the site. But it disappointed and overwhelmed me in equal measure. I got about halfway through but the whole thing seemed like a bewildering slog and, knowing that the game was massively popular, I abandoned my plans for a review in case it attracted negative attention and revealed me as the dunce I most certainly am. [Except you’ve ruined it now, you pillock – FFG reader]

I can’t really tell if my time with Alpha Protocol is going to be any more successful, but from initial impressions, I reckon I might make more progress with this one. Even so, some of the RPG hallmarks that baffle me have already made an appearance, and I figured it might be an idea to write about them a little as they crop up.

So, all being well, that’s what I’m going to do. Once upon I time I did think it would be a jolly good laugh for me to review a game that I wouldn’t normally play, and would find really, frustratingly, hard, and then write about it. That might still be worth a go, but I seriously doubt I’ll ever persist with an ageing role-playing-game for long enough to produce a decent review, so I may as well get all of my gripes and anxieties out some other way. That okay with you?

Disclaimer: Now we’re on Facebook and Twitter we’ll use those for dispensable twaddle while aiming to produce something more substantial and entertaining for the journal. However, this could all fall apart, very, very quickly. No refunds of time will be given.

So you might have seen the TV ads for the upcoming warcraft expansion.

Yep a huge angry dragon bursts out of the ground, rants a lot about his ENDLESS AGONY, and breaks the world. Apart from new content for current max-level players, a major theme of this expansion is re-working much of the existing content. And thus improving the levelling experience, which is now 5+ years old and frankly tedious sometimes (endless “collect 10 kobold tail” quests). So now we have new stories, new quests and a changed land for them to take place in.

So apart from attracting more newbies, it’s incentive for us existing players to go back and start again. I might even be tempted to roll a paladin, which I used to find the dullest of classes, now that Tauren have the option. And then fall into the same old routines of running dungeons for badges till 1am, and obsessively chasing achievements.

Or I could just take a break and, I dunno, play some old games and write about them. We’ll see! I promise this won’t turn into a warcraft blog though, unless one day I snap and write a lengthy rant about why rogues should all be shot into the sun.

Hi there.

So, England are in Australia and both sides are gearing up for the Ashes. Excited yet? [sigh] You know, the Ashes…cricket? No?

That doesn’t bode so well for our latest update then. We’ve got a review of Graham Gooch World Class Cricket for you.

And if that wasn’t enough, we’ve also put together a Brief History of cricket games down the years, too.

Hope you like it.

A great way to not get anything posted, spread myself across several games at once. Hey at least i’ve mostly given up on bastard warcraft.

Planescape Torment: thought provoking, sometimes genuinely moving story-driven RPG. Great, as long as you like reading lots of text. Well-developed characters, fascinating setting. As far as D&D goes I’m far more absorbed than I ever was in Baldur’s Gate. Expect a glowing review.

Dungeon Siege: The other kind of RPG – a bunch of heroes progress through forests, deserts and dungeons battering 39480 goblins to death. Token story, utterly linear, not a lot of variety. One of those RPGS where one runthrough is enough (compare and contrast with my past Morrowind obsession) – I’m pushing myself for this 2nd attempt just for review purposes. Still it is fun and has some modicum of tactical thinking.

Duke Nukem 3D: was an attempt to be “topical” what with the news that Duke Nukem Forever is actually going to happen. I failed. Will play and review anyway because I’m feeling nostalgic for the mid-90s and hard rock rendered in midi form.

Doom 3: For the sake of playing all shooters ever that aren’t the original Doom. For no reason, I mean I liked Doom. it’s just our thing.

On another note, we’re trying to integrate stuff like facebook and twitter into all this. Not got it all worked out yet; I’ve never really gotten “into” all this modern web 2.0 social mybook stuff because I am old and useless. But we’ll work something out, bolting modern technology onto this creaky old site!

Hello there.

It’s been a while since there’s been anything from me, but at least I have a good excuse. How’s married life? It’s good, thanks. Thanks for asking.

Anyway, we can’t stand around here waffling all day. How about a review, of Broken Sword: The Sleeping Dragon, instead?

Expect a return to semi-regular updates again in the very near future.

A two month gap! Rik was off getting married, so congratz to him. Meanwhile I was meant to keep productive in his absence and, er, blatantly didn’t. Getting sucked into Grand Theft Auto IV didn’t help.

Anyway though the retro-gaming wheels are turning again, and here’s a look at Serious Sam: The Second Encounter.

So, it was indeed a publicity stunt. Gog.com will be relaunched later today, finally out of beta.

At the time of writing there are a few youtube videos telling us what to expect. The site doesn’t actually look all that different, just re-organised a bit. So being cynical you have to wonder if there was much point to their little hoax, or if it was worth pissing the fans off. Although they did drop some heavy hints that they weren’t disappearing off the face of the earth. Anyway the important bit is, gog is still around and still delivering DRM-free games. Which is great.

So I surfed over to gog.com today and was greeted with this message:

Dear GOG users,

We have recently had to give serious thought to whether we could really keep GOG.com the way it is. We’ve debated on it for quite some time and, unfortunately, we’ve decided that GOG.com simply cannot remain in its current form.

We’re very grateful for all support we’ve received from all of you in the past two years. Working on GOG.com was a great adventure for all of us and an unforgettable journey to the past, through the long and wonderful history of PC gaming.

This doesn’t mean the idea behind GOG.com is gone forever. We’re closing down the service and putting this era behind us as new challenges await.

On a technical note, this week we’ll put in place a solution to allow everyone to re-download their games. Stay tuned to this page and follow us on Twitter and Facebook for updates.

All the best,
GOG.com Team

That’s… pretty much out of the blue.

It might not be completely bad news. One of their guys said on twitter “doesn’t mean GOG is gone! We’ll have some more info soon”. I’ve heard a few hypotheses out there – GoG has been bought out, or will start selling newer games too, or has had to bring in DRM (maybe with a steam-style launcher). Or that this is a huge publicity stunt based around finally coming out of beta.

Anyway we’d be seriously sad to see GoG go; they’ve done some sterling work in making classic PC games available at reasonable prices. Hell, I bought Duke3D from them last week. So here’s hoping they continue in some form.

In our “news you’ve already heard but I figured it needs mentioning here anyway” section

Duke Nukem Forever out next year

In it’s honour here’s a list (last updated last year) of developments in gaming, technology and the real world since the game was first announced 14 years ago. The entire GTA series has happened, Link went 3D, we’ve had about 5 Final Fantasies, and Blizzard went from little sprites of orcs bashing knights to online consumption of entire lives. Gaming hardware has gone from the Playstation, Pentium 2 and first generation 3D cards to quad core monsters. Internet has gone from geocities fansites built in notepad to grabbing your games (legally!) off online services. Meanwhile we all turned from teenagers into (nearly) 30 year olds with careers and stuff. (some people allegedly even get married?!)

So let’s take a moment to salute Duke’s return. If we can actually believe it. I might wait until the game is installed and I’ve played it for 3 hours, before I’m sure.