Hello everyone. This site is usually a two man effort – well, I say that, it’s more like 1.5 men given how inactive I’ve been lately. Still, we do sometimes have contributions from guests. So a big thanks today to RT, who has kindly written us a review of Serious Sam 2.

Hello.

Just popping back in with our traditional look back at the past 12 months. (It may not be very useful to you, the reader, but it helps old fellas like us keep track of things, as the years increasingly blur into each other, weeks and months seemingly pass in the blink of an eye, and so many moments are lost in time, like…tears…in…rain.)

Ahem. Anyway, the year began with a discussion of Ys: The Oath in Felghana, which we both kind of liked, although I was a bit confused about what was actually happening.

Stoo’s FPS adventures continued with the very old Catacomb 3D and the somewhat-more-recent Quake IV. Meanwhile the RPG section received another boost with a write-up of Westwood’s Nox.

My own focus was again on a mixture of old racers and sports games. I was pleasantly surprised by Driver: Parallel Lines (and its use of Suffragette City sent me scrabbling to dig out my old Bowie CDs) and – to a lesser extent – Juiced (for which I still have a soft spot despite some really fundamental flaws).

2014 was a World Cup year, of course, which meant that I once again decided to rummage through the scrapheap of old football titles to try and provide some topical content. I can confirm that I still hate Actua Soccer; ISS 3 was a little more fun to revisit.

I also play adventure games, although in truth I am not very good at them, especially less-forgiving oldies like A Cruise for a Corpse. I later took a look at the fourth instalment of the Broken Sword series, The Angel of Death.

Somehow, we also found ourselves agreeing to discuss a Leisure Suit Larry game and we sat down to have a chat about his cruise ship adventures in Love for Sail! Well, I guess it seemed like a good idea at the time.

And, that was pretty much it, except for my late-year obsession with trivia games, which inevitably led to me revisiting 2001’s football quiz head-to-head, and an honourable mention for the 2004 version of Sid Meier’s Pirates!

As for 2015, well, that year seems significant for some reason. Oh yes, I remember, it’s the far-off date I used to give when making an empty promise to cover something. Well, I’m a man of my word, so I guess I’ll be reviewing another strategy game at some point. (But it will definitely not be Operation Flashpoint!)

We’ll also – finally – be fulfilling at least one, and maybe as many as three, old requests for reviews. So stay tuned!

Currently playing: My Steam Backlog

Happy New Year! I hope you all had a good Christmas break.

Due to a combination of factors (for my own part, a miscalculation when choosing which games to cover) we weren’t able to bring you any new content over the past couple of weeks.

While work on that continues, I’ve also made use of the significant downtime to get some other gaming done, and start working on the considerable backlog of unplayed games in my Steam list. (Of course, the appeal of Valve’s seasonal reductions, allied to the Steam mobile app, as well as the odd drop of Christmas booze, has rendered overall progress negligible.)

Here’s what I’ve been spending my time with:

The Binding of Isaac

I’m really not up to date on indie games; I largely follow the hype via gaming websites and Twitter chat, and occasionally make the odd impulse purchase. I’d heard lots of good things about this, although even after some moderate internet research, I wasn’t really any clearer on what kind of game it was, or what on earth was going on.

In other words: it looked weird, and, having bought and played it, I can confirm that it is. Escaping into the basement, away from the murderous advances of his Christian fundamentalist mother, baby Isaac is plunged into a world of zombies, monsters, flies, poo and blood, and armed – initially at least – only with the water from his tears as a weapon.

Levels are procedurally generated, and there are no saves, which means you have to complete the game in one sitting. When you enter a room that contains monsters, you have to defeat all of them before you can continue. Each level also contains items that bestow extra powers or weapons upon Isaac, whose avatar is often disfigured in a slightly unsettling way as a result. Before you can exit each level, you have to defeat a boss character, which is always a genuinely hideous beast of some kind.

The rather twisted nature of the content, as well as the win-or-die structure, make for a tense and rather frenetic arcade challenge. At the moment, I haven’t really invested enough time to know for sure, but I rather suspect that completing it might be beyond me. Still, it’s the kind of thing you can find yourself sitting down to have a quick go of, and then find that you want another. In fact, I might go and have another go now.

Back to the Future: The Game

I don’t tend to buy a lot of new games, but I was sufficiently excited by the pre-release propaganda to shell out for this a couple of years ago. For some reason, I stopped playing after completing the first episode, with a feeling of vague and generalised disappointment, although I can’t recall any specific criticisms.

I’m either misremembering, or was wrong, or Episode 2 (Get Tannen!) represents a significant improvement. While I have a few quibbles about graphical, camera and interface issues, Get Tannen! is a thoroughly enjoyable BTTF romp, which features pretty much all the elements you would want from a spin-off adventure.

The first episode ends with Doc and Marty thinking they’ve managed to fix the problems from their past, only to find that they’ve caused different ones by tinkering with the timeline. A frantic rush to save a relative from a Tannen (this time, it’s your Grandpa, Artie McFly, and Biff’s father, Irving “Kid” Tannen, in 1930s Hill Valley) seems to have done the trick, but then you return to a nightmarish 80s which indicates that – yep – some more complications have been caused by your meddling. So, back again you go (I have a feeling this could be a recurring theme).

The voice acting is of a variable standard – Christopher Lloyd as Doc sounds 30 years older than in the films (which, of course, he is) – but the guy they’ve drafted in to be Marty does a pretty decent impression of a young Michael J. Fox.

I suppose you might say the difficulty level is pitched pretty low, but I’ve come to realise that I’m pretty bad at adventure games so I actually don’t mind not wandering around for hours without a clue what to do next. I’d say there’s an enjoyable, low-level challenge here.

The setup for the third episode looks intriguing so I’m not going to repeat the mistakes of my own past and get straight on with it.

RACE: The Official WTCC Game

Speaking of mistakes, a recurring one of mine on this site is to throw out a quick mention to a game I haven’t played, in order to demonstrate I’m not horribly out of touch with everything (which, obviously, I am). Back when they were the cool new thing for racing sim fans, and I was finally – belatedly – getting around to looking at the second TOCA game, I casually mentioned, with implied authority, SimBin’s GTR and RACE as the genre leaders.

In truth, this was based entirely upon some favourable reviews in PC Zone, and not at all upon my own experience. I probably should have made that clearer at the time. But, even though I’m never going to be an expert on the kind of racing sim that needs a steering wheel and analogue throttle, I figured I should probably get around to trying them for myself (especially after there was a Steam deal on a SimBin megapack a little while ago).

With the difficulty turned down and the driving aids up, RACE feels a little like TOCA used to be before it became GRID. There’s something about a combination of the in-car view and the unforgiving and precarious nature of the handling which makes getting round a lap without any mishaps all the more satisfying. Plus overtaking under such conditions is is actually rather exhilarating.

(Getting slightly carried away, I took a look at steering wheels on Amazon, but stopped myself before I did anything rash. It might be worth a few more hours on the joypad to see if my interest extends beyond vague curiosity first).

——

And finally, no marks for Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed, the PC version of which (I found out after purchasing) apparently has some unresolvable glitches with some graphics cards – including mine. Even if they don’t exactly make the game unplayable, they do make it damn ugly to look at.

I’ve written before about how I came to associate FIFA with Christmas, and following a recent clearout my parents reunited me with my old copy of FIFA 2000, which I think was maybe the last version I received as a present (the following year, I’d discover Pro Evolution Soccer).

While browsing the excellent (but completely non game-related) blog Popular, I was reminded that former/current/former Take That star Robbie Williams wrote a song specifically for the game, It’s Only Us (later plonked on a double-A side single so that people who didn’t play FIFA could buy and enjoy it too). I also recall that he performed some motion-capture for the game itself too – not football moves, but the goal celebrations (presumably, as a professional show-off, this was considered a suitable area of expertise, although he was apparently a handy enough player in his youth).

I’m so delighted to have found a source to verify my hazy memories of this particular fact, I’m going to put it here, but – obviously – non-fans of Williams’ particular brand of knobby antics will find this deliciously irritating.

The intro to the game, featuring the song, is pretty bizarre, with Williams and former England defender Sol Campbell (who appeared on the game box and provided the motion-capture for the actual football-y bits) sharing the spotlight. I don’t really follow the narrative involving the sepia-toned team from the past, who appear either amazed or frightened at the appearance of Campbell, and then greet Robbie’s arrival with a kind of ‘let’s break his legs’ sort of look. (It’s likely to be some kind of reference to the ‘Classic’ mode in the game, which allows you to play in great matches from the past, kind of like Viva Football – but, you know, not quite as bad.)

I doubt we’ll ever get around to covering the game itself: my main recollections involve the rather quirky and stylized player graphics and the beginnings of some rather unusual ball physics which would become an unpleasant characteristic of the series in subsequent editions. Fortunately, our friends over at Just Games Retro have a write-up.

While I’m here, I might as well recommend Popular: it’s basically a look back at all of the UK #1 hit singles – ever – and, as someone with particular nostalgia for the 90s, I’ve enjoyed the blog’s recent coverage of this era. I’m no music expert or a fan of music criticism, particularly, but it’s something I enjoy reading. The comments seem to be a place for reasoned and informed discussion, too – who knew such a thing was possible?

I was being slightly facetious last time I mentioned this, but Christmas is a time for board games and quizzes.

In fact, many of my earliest memories of the Yuletide season involve the family all getting together to play Trivial Pursuit – not the actual board game, mind you, but the computer version. Much of the credit/blame must go to my Dad and his (at the time) enthusiasm for new technology, without which I’m sure my grandparents would never have been persuaded to huddle around an Amstrad CPC for their Christmas trivia action.

Rik 2 is winning.

Revisiting it now, one of the things this adaptation really got right was to keep the essentials of the board game largely intact, and uncomplicated by fussy innovation, while also adding a dash of unobtrusive charm here and there to elevate the experience beyond a dry rehashing of the cardboard format. The fundamentals of rolling and moving (rightly) remain extremely straightforward; the light touch comes in the form of the quizmaster, TP, who retires from the main board into a cosy-looking sitting room to deliver (after some pacing back and forth) each question with a charming, if rather comical, approximation of speech reminiscent of R2D2 on helium.

It turns out he doesn’t mean the first time, in Diamonds are Forever. He means Never Say Never Again. I gave myself the point anyway.

Occasionally, TP dims the lights to show a slide, or steps over to the stereo to play some music. He’ll also change his hat according to the question category – for art and literature, TP will wear a beret; for sport and leisure, it’ll be a baseball cap. I also rather like his deadpan responses when you own up to getting an answer wrong.

We’ll never beat Rik 2.

It must have had some charm to get the whole family involved, however enthusiastic my father, and however much alcohol had been taken. From what I remember, a good time was generally had by all.

Once we upgraded to an Atari ST, we immediately sought out the 16-bit version, expecting significant technological improvements and for the annual family Trivial Pursuit sessions to move seamlessly over to the ST. But even though it was the same basic game, something had been lost in translation.

For one thing, the anticipated visual improvement failed to materialise: while the graphics are unquestionably crisper, the palette is rather muddy when compared with the bright chunkiness of the 8-bit version. Moreover, TP himself has gone from being a cheerful cartoon character to an overweight, balding, clown-without-his-makeup type, and his upbeat bleeps have been replaced by a nightmarish Twin Peaks-style gibberish. Needless to say, this version was soon abandoned and the family made the trek to my bedroom to fire up the old CPC.

Kids, never get into 16-bit TP’s car. Not even if he’s got sweets.

(I also have dim memories of a collective fondness for a game called Powerplay, which – and I’m not making this up – blended trivia elements with Greek mythology and chess. But that’s a story for another time, I think.)

Anyway, this might be the last you hear from me before the big day, so let me wish you all a very happy Christmas!

British gaming fans may remember Digitiser, published on teletext from 1993 to 2003.

I don’t know if other countries had anything like teletext? It was an information service broadcast over the television signal. It was also known for artwork made from very basic graphics, that looked lot like what you might see on an BBC Micro computer. As internet access became widespread, teletext faded into irrelevance over the 2000s. I don’t think any channels broadcast it anymore since TV went digital (the BBC stopped in 2012) but anyone over 30 will have memories of using it.

Anyway, back to Digitiser. It was a great mix of gaming news and surreal humour, and a refreshing alternative to overtly serious and earnest gaming journos. (Or pretentious stuff like Edge). Articles were written under the guise of several colourful characters such as The Man with a Long Chin (who kept getting fired from various jobs), Gossi the Dog (gossip column) and Insincere Dave (far too enthusiastic).

So here’s the good news: Digitiser has returned, now on the web. How active it will be, and for how long, is still uncertain. Writer Mr Biffo is treating it as something of an experiment, depending on how what sort of reception he gets. Resurrecting a gaming magazine that was last published 11 years ago is quite an ambitious project. So I encourage you all to add it to your daily reading list, and follow via RSS or facebooks or whatever you may use.

Hi there!

It’s nearly Christmas [no it isn’t – FFG Reader], and everyone enjoys a good quiz at Christmas [maybe – FFG Reader], particularly if it’s a football quiz [nope, lost it again – FFG Reader], right?

So in a topical, seasonal, and totally relevant update, with nothing at all to do with my bizarre retro-gaming interests, here’s a double-whammy of football trivia for you: Sky Sports Football Quiz and Championship Manager Quiz.

Next time: Zork.

I’ve mentioned Wizardry 7 a few times on this site – it’s a turn-based RPG from the early 90s which has consumed huge amounts of my life. It’s full of tough battles, right from the start when you find your pathetic newbies swarmed by rat-men. You’ll spend an awful lot of time either dying, or hitting the “sod this, abandon game” button and reloading to try again.

Yet one boss is, amongst all the defeats and beatings, particularly memorable. Where by memorable I mean, my hatred for it will forever be etched into my mind like words carved into a granite cliff. It is an awful, howling, infuriating abomination of a monster. I cannot recall how many attempts it first took me to get past it.

Image taken from www.oldgames.sk. If I ever had any of my own I put them on a memory stick then set fire to it.

Let’s start with the Lifesteal spell which I’m fairly sure is broken as it announces “678 points damage” when your average character has, at this point in the game, maybe 40 hit points. So that’s instant death for your guy and the Guardian gets some healing in return. Then it has the Asphyxiate spell, which is actually meant to be instant-death as it doesn’t do numerical damage. The game just does some internal check or dice roll and declares, “slain” or “no effect”. I don’t have a good handle on the probabilities, and it can certainly fail sometimes, but if you’re subjected to Asphyxiate more than once you probably won’t have much of a team left.

So all you can do each turn is pray it doesn’t cast Lifesteal or Asphyxiate, and opt for a different attack instead. Except those are all still bad news, with an emphasis on hindering your ability to fight back effectively. Its standard physical attack has a chance, with each successful hit, to paralyse one of your heroes leaving them unable to do anything for several turns of combat. It can cast a scream that causes fear, which means that each character has a chance of cowering uselessly instead of following the orders they were given. Also it can Blink, disappearing for a portion of each turn, so some characters won’t get a chance to take any actions.

In other words, your team is either slumped on the ground motionless, backing into a corner softly whimpering, or just firing spells into thin air. None of this is doing any damage to the Guardian, while it grins away at you from its spooky, skeletal, ghostly, face. So your guys are worthless, the Guardian is floating around blinking in and out until it decides to just casually destroy you with Aspyhxiate. I should acknowldege that countermeasures to some of these spells  do exist, but at this (fairly early) stage in the game, your characters won’t have access to them in sufficiently strong or plentiful forms. Cure Paralysis potions are pricy. A level 2 (out of 7) Magic Screen spell isn’t going to help you enough.

That’s not all! There’s another layer of awfulness to this guy. See, normally in an RPG like this, if a monster is kicking your ass you can leave it for a while and go quest and fight stuff elsewhere. Gain some experience points, level the team and get them some better swords. Then come back and have another go. In this case, though, once you pass into the section of dungeon containing the Shadow Guardian, there’s no way out except past it. You can, if you wish, grind away killing monsters in area immediately before it. But that could mean hours upon hours of killing the same damn giant bugs and lizards over and over and over, and there’s no chance of upgraded gear. It’s a dismal position to be in if you’re seriously under-levelled for the fight.

So then, a golden rule of old RPGs – keep multiple savegames. Always have one at least an hour’s play before your current location. But still, screw you, Shadow Guardian.

So I finished Assassin’s Creed, finishing in couple of rather brutal ten-on-one fights, a disappointingly linear final sequence and a surprisingly easy Final Boss. Still a solidly enjoyable game overall. I’ve now moved onto Assassin’s Creed 2, and so far it looks like an all-round improvement. Which is pretty much what a sequel should be like!

AC1 repeated the same pattern of events about 8 times – do a bunch of short missions in exchange for info, save people from being harassed by guards, do a big Assassination Mission. This time around, the structure is less rigid and there are more activities to keep you busy. You can crack on right away with the assassinations, or goof around doing secondary tasks at your own pace – looking for chests of gold, or various side-missions. There are also the Assassin’s Tombs to investigate, dungeon-like sections with an emphasis on climbing and platform jumping, in search of keys to a particularly fancy treasure.

Then you can return to your home town and upgrade buildings and buy gear. Having resources to manage, a choice of weapons etc is a welcome addition, although I’ve already now bought just about everything I can, and have the town 71% upgraded, after thoroughly ransacking all the treasure I could from the first city. I wonder if they should have thrown in more stuff to purchase.

The visual indicators of guard hostility towards you are somewhat clearer, AC1’s separate indicators for social status and witness awareness were a bit clunky. I’m might not be far enough in to comment extensively on combat, it actually feels mostly easier, except for when fighting brutes. Having hireable allies is quite entertaining, sending a bunch of Courtesans to distract guards while I steal loot.

The cities still look gorgeous, and there’s a great feeling of freedom skipping around the rooftops of Florence, until I screw up and mistime a jump and go crashing into a crowd of people anyway. Our hero Ezio is a bit more charismatic than Altair, I think we can feel a bit more attached to him when we see his care-free pre-assassin life and the tragedy that led him to take up impractical hoods and stabby blades.

I think I need to play more before I decide what I think about on the meta-story about Desmond. The intro with him was pretty much a chore to get through before I could begin the historical content. For now though, I am glad that despite them keeping the “game within a game” theme you don’t need to basically start up, and quit, twice each time you play.

(ps I am playing some Old Games too. Honest! We might have another joint review in the works).

Hello there.

Today’s game takes us – indirectly, at least – back to the earlier days of FFG, and one of the first games we ever covered.

Let’s go stunt driving, it’s Crashday.