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Rik vs PG
April 6th, 2008
Written by: Rik
At the end of last week, my friend and flat-mate PG packed up his stuff and moved to New York. Well, he didn’t actually pack it; his company paid for some burly men to come round and do it for him – a testament indeed to the impressive portfolio of skills from which the American economy stands to benefit over the next few years. Despite several attempts to explain it to me, I have to admit that I don’t really understand what his job involves, although I do know that while I would spend many an evening hunched over my ageing PC playing even older games, he would be juggling with gigantic spreadsheets while being shouted at by angry city traders.
In between, though, we managed to find time for the odd game of Pro Evolution Soccer. Actually, that something of an understatement – it would be more accurate to describe our encounters as a titanic struggle for supremacy which started when I bought my first Playstation and a copy of International Superstar Soccer Pro Evolution (as the series was known then) and continued, pretty much unabated, ever since.
In terms of hours spent playing a game, it comfortably eclipses anything else I’ve ever had in my collection – relegating even the mightily compulsive time-sucker Championship Manager to second place. Though I’ve always been partial to a decent football title, as someone loyal to the clunky old PC in the face of console flashiness and who generally views gaming as a solitary pursuit (Quake III begone!) it seems slightly strange to me that the most significant title of my gaming career has been on console and best enjoyed in multiplayer. When it came to Pro Evo (as it shall henceforth be known) my normal conservative game-purchasing logic went out of the window, too, and on release day I’d make sure I was down at GAME ready to slap down the full asking price for the latest version.
It’s difficult to describe exactly why Pro Evo is so much better than any other football game that’s ever been released, but for me the main reason is to be found in the many, many two player matches PG and I played over the years. However good AI may be these days, in sports games it’s still usually the case that the computer players can soon be dispatched with relative ease once you’ve put a bit of time in, and for all their qualities even the latest Pro Evo games are no different in this respect. With two human players, though, the game itself is put under much greater scrutiny – whether there are any obvious holes or flaws, and, most importantly, whether any of these can be exploited by an unscrupulous player to score goals with monotonous regularity. I remember quite enjoying a couple of FIFA games in the 90s until I played against my neighbour who would quite happily use the same trick over and over again to slam several goals past me and it killed the enjoyment. Faced with a choice between suffering a fearful beating while taking the moral high ground or employing the same predictable tactics as my opponent, there seemed little point in playing any more: the game itself had been exposed.
I’m pretty sure my opponent at the time thought I was just sulking because I lost, though, and I have to admit that there have been a number of occasions (far too numerous to recall) when I petulantly threatened never to play Pro Evo again. Nevertheless, I always ended up coming back for more, and while defeats were difficult to suffer, it wasn’t because the game was broken. Moreover, the opportunity to tinker with something – make changes to the team, alter the formation, or just play a slightly different kind of football – always promised the chance of success in the next encounter, no matter how bad the previous performance may have been, and increasingly the ups and downs of Pro Evo mirrored those encountered when following the real-life game. This was football, in all its marvellous unpredictability, and it soon fostered a similar long-running love-hate relationship, bringing glory and despair, triumph and frustration in equal measure.
Yes, the game is great. But I must also pay tribute to my opponent for his part in our epic battle. There have been some tense and expletive-laden times, from pretty much the moment our occasional one-off matches became regular three or five game sessions, with the stakes seemingly increasing every time we picked up our controllers. The intensity levels reached their most ridiculous heights a couple of years ago, when daily five-match encounters were mandatory. Unwisely, the decision was taken to activate Pro Evo 5’s Memorial Match mode, allowing us to keep track of our cumulative results in the hope of one day finally establishing who was ‘the best’. Unsurprisingly, this only served to heighten tension during matches, with the importance of the ‘overall’ result either taking the gloss off the victory for the winner or compounding the misery for the loser.
Thankfully, such a schedule proved too exhausting to sustain for long, and after it provoked the latest psychological breakdown from yours truly (evoking memories of Kevin Keegan’s ‘LOVE IT’ speech as he watched Newcastle’s bid for the 1996 Premiership title evaporate) a short break from the game was taken. When we returned the atmosphere was more agreeably laid-back, with controller-throwing and furious swearing but a distant memory (well almost).
At other times too, there have been relaxed moments, with plenty of good-natured banter, most of it (unsurprisingly) football related. As fans of lower-division clubs sadly not featured in Pro Evo (one thing FIFA does have over its rival) a variety of teams were chosen to represent our respective footballing visions over the years, but for some unknown reason we eventually gravitated towards English clubs for which we had little affinity in real life. While Liverpool and Spurs fans may disagree, their 2006 squads were hardly world-beaters, largely consisting of mediocre players, save for one or two notable exceptions. Perhaps it was the lure of squad rotation that drew us to these teams: after a defeat, there was always the chance that eventually you could shuffle the deck and finally draw out a winning formula.
PG used to tinker relentlessly with his Liverpool team, one minute declaring gangly ball-winner Mohammed Sissoko (now with Juventus) “the best player in the world” before later banishing him to the substitutes’ bench without another word. And, like real-life Liverpool manager Rafael Benitez, he had some trouble finding his best striking combination, with each forward delivering only in fits and starts. “Crouch is the answer!” he would exclaim as he threw the robot-dancing striker into the starting line-up. But he wasn’t.
There was quite a bit of comedy mileage in the mocking/praising of players, especially if their fortunes in real life had taken a turn for the worse since the release of the game. Bald-headed creative midfielder Danny Murphy, for example, was a key player in my Spurs side, leading to frequent claims (from me) that he was surely in line for an England recall. In reality, however, he’d been shipped off to Fulham, playing a bit-part in their slide towards relegation this season. PG, on the other hand, would constantly eulogise about the performances of his unlikely wing-back pairing of Jermaine Pennant and Boudewijn Zenden, with the growing influence of the mulleted Dutchman, in particular, at odds with his underwhelming spell at Liverpool in real life.
Other players were barracked relentlessly and blamed for all of the team’s ills – the hapless Jermaine Jenas was my favoured Spurs scapegoat, and I’d often bring him on towards the end of a defeat just so he could take the blame for the team’s performance. Just occasionally, usually after a heavy defeat, I’d have a brain wave and install him in the starting line-up, only for him to suffer a humiliating first-half substitution after one misplaced pass.
Further amusement was provided by the in-game commentary, a notorious weak-spot of the series. Admittedly, it did improve slightly over the years, but only from an extremely low starting-point, when total unknowns Martin Williams and, later, Chris James were charged with the task, alongside “expert summariser” Terry Butcher (favoured catchphrase: “I AM Terry Butcher”). As the series got more successful, Konami splashed out some cash on some more famous names, and Peter Brackley and “Sir” Trevor Brooking were quickly recruited once the series moved onto PS2. Sadly the scripts didn’t improve much, with cockney blabberer Brooking in particular coming out with ridiculous statements, whether it was mentioning how he had “no complaints about the state of the pitch” in his end-of-match summary, or congratulating a successful penalty taker on having “dummied the keeper great there”.
Sadly, if there is to be any more great dummying of the keeper it will be now be during a hollow victory over the computer, for the rivalry is no more. There was brief talk about purchasing Xbox 360s and playing online against each other, but as such a plan would have involved PG leaving work in the middle of the afternoon to fulfil a fixture, it was hastily abandoned. We never did find out who was “the best” – in truth we were pretty evenly matched, and despite us both dealing out (or suffering) occasional drubbings, most matches were close. Attempts to hype up the last match as “the ultimate decider” were in vain, and though I did emerge victorious courtesy of a fortuitous late strike by sulky Bulgarian Dimitar Berbatov (I had to mention that) the desire to perform extravagant celebrations was tempered by genuine sadness that the last game had been played. Now that I’ve hung up my virtual boots, all I can really say is a big thank you to Konami, and my arch-nemesis, for all of the great games we’ve had over the years. PG – good luck in America mate.
oh christ, more lemmings
April 2nd, 2008
Written by: Stoo
Oh dear another dead blog?
My excuse is I’ve been tied up moving to a new flat and don’t have internets there yet. Rest assured though that we are playing through some oldies which we should see reviewed and discussed in the near future.
Currently working on All New World of Lemmings. Which, er, wasn’t ALL new really but did throw in a few new ideas. And at least fixed that eternally frustrating problem in earlier games, of trying to pick a lem going in the right direction when they’re all bunched into a tiny space. Unfortunately though I think gamers were already suffering Lemming Fatigue after the original, 4 xmas specials, Oh No! and Lemmings 2.
Beyond that I have some more Aged Shooters underway – Heretic (Doom in Tights) and Quake 2 (return to brownland).
Also in the works is King’s quest itself. No, really. Not sure yet if we’ll look at just 1990 remake, or the original itself too.
Review: Simon the Sorcerer II, Carmageddon II
March 9th, 2008
Written by: Rik
Two new reviews for you today.
Sometime contributor Jo has been adventuring away again, and she’s come up with a review of Simon the Sorcerer II: The Lion, The Wizard and the Wardrobe. Go on, give it a read.
Meanwhile, I’ve taken a look at Carmageddon II: Carpocalypse Now.
Review: Space Quest I
February 24th, 2008
Written by: Rik
Good evening.
Just one new review in this update – of Space Quest I: The Sarien Encounter.
Yep, finally got around to dusting off those collection CDs I bought a while ago. This might just herald the start of a period where we cover nothing but Sierra adventures.
I doubt it, though.
Grand Theft Scratchy
February 20th, 2008
Written by: Rik
My missus very kindly bought me a Nintendo DS for Christmas. It was an awesome present, especially as it was a total surprise and wasn’t the result of months of laboured hinting.
One of the games that came along with it was The Simpsons Game. It had some mixed reviews but it’s actually a pretty good laugh.
Although it stands accused of being a lazy EA cash-in, the license is used well, and there are some good gaming references in there, poking fun at various things, including EA themselves. Plus it’s not one of those super-hard platformers that no-one can ever complete!
Review: The Longest Journey, Hostile Waters
February 10th, 2008
Written by: Rik
We’re well into 2008, and with the January blues blurring into a more general malaise, and all thoughts of self-improvement having long been abandoned, what better way to spend your free time than by shutting out the outside world and enjoying a few hours of gaming goodness?
We’ve again covered a couple of more recent titles this month. In a notable reversal of roles, Stoo’s been adventuring away, and has reviewed Funcom’s tale of two parallel worlds, The Longest Journey.
Meanwhile, I’ve been uncharacteristically engrossed in a strategy game by the name of Hostile Waters.
Hope you enjoy the update. Next time, we might have something a little more retro for you.
Hot Import Nights
February 2nd, 2008
Written by: Rik
While thumbing through the latest (extremely thin) issue of PC Zone magazine, their lukewarm review of the latest unremarkable racer to get a multi-format release made for fairly depressing reading:
“In any other year a PC racing-lite enthusiast would be reading this review and being subjected to a list of reasons as to why the latest Need for Speed is far better. But that’s now been thrown high up in the air what with [NFS] ProStreet being an ill-conceived dog egg of a game…so instead of putting forward this year’s NFS as an alternative, just get last year’s.”
To tell the truth, the NFS games seem to have been short of new ideas since someone at EA watched The Fast and the Furious and realised a game loosely based on the film would go down pretty well with ‘da kidz’. To be fair, Need for Speed: Underground was a reasonable lark, injecting the series with a new lease of life, but subsequent games have been pretty short on new ideas, with 2007’s ProStreet removing all traces of illegality by shifting from street racing to (yawn) track-based events.
Whatever happened to all the racing games? I may be lumbered with an ancient PC and a previous generation console, but Test Drive Unlimited apart, there hasn’t really been anything in recent releases to make me sit up and take notice. More depressingly, there seems to have been a genuine shortage of new games in the genre. It could of course be my nostalgia-addled brain playing tricks on me, but it did seem at one stage that new racing games were being released left, right and centre – between 2000 and 2002 we had at least 10,000 rally titles come out on the PC alone.
Now it seems we can’t even rely on EA to churn out a reliably decent NFS game in time for Christmas. Without that, the cupboard seems pretty bare. While sim fans with steering wheels and pedals set up in front of their PC will undoubtedly point to Simbin’s GTR games, the non-hardcore petrolheads are left with very little else.
I guess if there really were lots of racing titles being released ‘in the old days’ then it must be worth trying to dig some of them out now. I’m currently engrossed (ie past the tutorial level) in a strategy game – hence the lack of new content from me recently – but once I’m done I think it’s worth investigating.
If we end up with a racing section full of indistinguishably average rally titles, then I’ll hold my hands up and admit I was wrong. Or delete this entry from the journal.
Review: Die Hard, Return to Castle Wolfenstein
January 22nd, 2008
Written by: Rik
Hi all.
It’s a double-whammy of few-years-old shooters for you tonight – of the generation that was cutting edge when we started this site seven or so years ago. Rik has examined Die Hard: Nakatomi Plaza and I’ve covered Return to Castle Wolfenstein.
2007 and all that
January 2nd, 2008
Written by: Rik
Well, that’s another year of retro-gaming over and done with. 2007 has actually been fairly productive for us in terms of content, and any regular readers out there might have noted that updates have been more frequent in the last 12 months.
Although what we do here at FFG doesn’t really warrant any detailed analysis, I thought it might be kind of interesting to take a quick look back at the last year. If nothing else, it was certainly useful for me: having now reached the age where each year blurs into the next, I occasionally check back on a review that I thought I wrote a couple of months ago to find that it was actually two or three years. [Fascinating! – a reader]
Anyway, the FFG year was book-ended by reviews of 3-star games (I know, they’re more like blobs than stars, but I’m not going to use the expression ‘3-blob’). In January we kicked things off with Covert Action, that simple but addictive spy caper from the early 90s, and it all ended on the last day of the year with the addition to the racing section of the superficially-entertaining Sega Rally 2. This seemed to sum up the vast majority of games covered, with many of them falling into the ‘not bad’ category.
Still, there were a few gems: I gushed about Monkey Island 2 and Max Payne, and Stoo lavished praise on Outcast, with all three receiving the highest ratings of the year. Action and Adventure were the two sections added to most often, with all but one of the games receiving ratings of four stars or more this year being games of this type (the exception being the surprisingly-nifty Need for Speed: Porsche 2000).
There was also a significant minority of not-particularly-enjoyable titles, and an all-time low point was reached when a review of the excerable Viva Football was added to the Sport section. Aside from the significant achievement of finding a football game that we enjoyed less than Sensible World of Soccer, the previously undernourished Sport section grew to a more healthy size. Now, we need more RPGs – perhaps it’s time to dig out Fallout again…
And so, what does this half-arsed re-cap tell us? Well, er, nothing really. But, seeing as we’re here, it might be worth making some New Year’s resolutions, even if, as tradition dictates, we aren’t likely to keep to them. Still, as all my self-help books tell me, it’s worth setting achievable targets, so we may as well settle for the following: at least one (1) review of a Sierra adventure game (with the word Quest in the title), no more Need for Speed games appearing in the racing section (no matter how tempting it might be) and, er something else (details TBC).
Oh yes! 2008: It’s gonna rock.
[Edit – Ahem. Of course, if anyone has any sensible suggestions or comments, then we’d be happy to hear them…]






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