Good evening.

Tonight’s new review is of an adventure game called The Moment of Silence.

Coming next time: something good.

Currently playing: Dawn of War 2.

The original had some novel ideas about replacing resource-gathering with taking and holding territory. I didn’t realise however how much further this one diverges with the RTS formula. It totally dumps the resource managent and base building altogether, and reduces the scale of your army to a small elite team of heroes.

So in any one mission you have the commander, two or three seargants each leading a handful of squaddies, and optionally a big stompy robot thing. As you complete missions your heroes gain experience and become more powerful with new abilities. They also aquire better weapons and armour.

This means a bit of planning how you want to build your guys. Which means it gets a bit RPG. Although really that just means for a couple of guys, deciding if you want them to be more close-quarters or hand-to-hand types. Then before each mission you decide who’s going to be the most useful, and what toys to give them. ie does heavy dude get the anti-infantry machinegun or the rocket launcher.

Then in battle since we’re not sending out combine harvesters to gather unobtanium to build tanks, it’s all about tactics. So cover plays a key role, as do ways of flushing enemies out of it. (flamer is good for this, but not so great in other roles. Decisions decisions!).

Anyway I’ve mostly got the hang of it. I generally like laying down a hail of fire from the shooty dudes then having the commander charge the enemy whilst they’re suppressed. Also the scout, whilst not much use in a straight up fight, can sneak around sniping and bombing stuff.

Or I can just have the dreadnought (robot thing) show up. It looks ridiculous and tends to shuffle around as if a bit confused, knocking over the cover I meant to hide behind. But then it lets rip with its minigun and space-elves go flying. Hurray.

That said the boss fights tend to get a bit messy.
How it should go: Force Commander tanks it, shooty guys let rip from behind cover, sneaky guy throws bombs, assault guys take on any extra baddies that show up

How it tends to go: boss chases heavy weapon guys. They run away. Commander runs after boss. Sneaky guy gets wiped out. Dreadnought stomps in a circle, shoots up some rocks.

Oh and the eldar farseer has a really horrible area of effect attack. Keep everyone apart from the Force Commander well away from her with room to scatter.

btw I’m only playing on the 2nd out of four difficulty levels. It’s the sort of situation where I can tell I’m being let off easy sometimes – I look at bad guys outflanking me and think, that was stupid move I made there, and I really should have gotten wiped out for it. Did I mention the idea of me being a “strategy gamer” is a total charade?

Oh yeah and this is all Warhammer-based, hence the space elves. Also space-orks. And your guys are warrior-monks in powered armour waving chainsaw-swords as they declare FOR THE EMPEROR. I know some of you find the setting totally ridiculous and, well, it is. But it’s more colourful and entertaining, in a GRIMDARK++ way, than most other generic scifi.

Anyways this isn’t exactly retro gaming is it? We should look at the original one day.

Hello. It’s me again, I’m afraid.

We have that rarest of things on FFG this evening – two review in one update. I know, I know, we’re amazing.

So, here’s a double-whammy of old-school football fun: Kick Off 2 and Goal!.

Hello world. You might remember me, I’m supposed to show my face here and write about old games sometimes. And not leave it to Rik to keep the project going.

Well here I am today, with a fairly obscure little first-person-shooter from the very early days – Blake Stone: Aliens of Gold.

Thief Gold on GoG

The supreme master of stealth gaming finally arrives on Good Old Games. Even better it’s the Gold edition, with has three extra maps and used to be a bit harder to find.

Here’s the quick version of Why thief was awesome:
1: large maps with a high degree of freedom – find your own way around. Try to either evade guards, or knock them out, or fail, run desperately for your life, hide in a shed. Then try again. Hell you can try being an action hero if you want. (it probably won’t work)
2: AI with convincing multiple levels of awareness, from oblivious patrols to actively hunting you
2: art, design and sound lead make it amazingly atmospheric

Here’s why some people thought it went off the rails: the way the maps flick from a more-or-less realistic medieval setup, to sneaking past undead monsters (and some weirdy “spirits of the forest” types). But I think the games survives that change of direction. For one thing it’s still stealthy, and also we got some truly memorable “survive ancient, haunted ruins” type experiences. But if you still really dislike that I’m sure Thief 2 will be along later, which swapped the undead for a more steampunk theme.

I’ve been playing games for about 25 years now. Over that time I’ve been into hundreds of computer games shops and bought who-knows-how-many games. Although I don’t have a current-gen console and hardly rush out of the door to buy new releases, I keep reasonably in touch with what’s going on (on top of the many years of accumulated useless retro-knowledge to fall back on) through the web and by gawping at the back of boxes in games shops.

So, then, why am I completely incapable of making even five seconds’ worth of small-talk with any of the customer-facing staff in these places? Awkward verbal exchanges have become such a common part of my experience when buying games that I’ve developed an anxious desire for the transaction to take place in total silence, bar an acknowledgment of the total to pay and a ‘thank you’ when it’s all done.

Whether this comes across, or not, I don’t know, but I almost feel like I’m about to rob the place; that the first utterance from the sales assistant’s mouth that doesn’t meet the criteria specified above will prompt me to bellow “PUT THE GAMES IN THE BAG. NOW! QUICKLY! DO IT! DOOOO ITTTT!” into their face while brandishing the nearest available blunt object in a vaguely threatening manner.

I’m perfectly content to lay most of the blame at my own door here – I’m not the best at idle chit-chat at the best of times – but I do feel that the nature of some retailers’ attempts to engage the customer can only result in a stilted and embarrassing conversation that would have been better best avoided. Take this recent example:

GAME Man: So, er, buying a few games today then, buddy?
Me: Yep.
GAME Man: Cool, cool.
Me: …
GAME Man: Oh, wow, that’s our last copy of Gran Turismo! He-heh.
Me: Oh, right.
GAME Man: Okay dude, with the PC games there, I do have to just make sure you’ve double-checked the specs on the back to make sure it’ll work on your computer?
Me: [Nodding]
GAME Man: Cool, bro. Hey, wow, you’ve saved a bit of money on those games! Er, that’ll be £19.99 then, please.
Me: [Hands over money]
GAME Man: Take care, buddy!
Me: [Avoiding all eye contact, mumbling] Thanks.

Now, that’s not a lot to work with. I mean, sometimes, after an awkward conversation, or an argument, you immediately think of a hundred things that you could have said that would have been infinitely preferable to what you actually did say. Here, though, barring a mild improvement in my body language and a slightly more cheery goodbye, I honestly can’t see how that could have gone any better.

At other times, I’ve been slightly more culpable. I once purchased a couple of CSI games, which were shoved into a bag without so much as a glance by a sullen teenage girl who then announced flatly, and with no visible enthusiasm, “they’re good, them.” Instead of just politely nodding, and feeling a combination of unease at what seemed like a blatant lie and a level of defensiveness at buying a couple of fairly mediocre games based on a TV show in the first place, I decided to challenge her: “Are they? I heard they got better once Telltale took over the franchise, but I’m not expecting much from them.” Without blinking, she replied, “Nah, they’re good, all good, got ’em all. Completed ’em all.” Clearly, anything further from me was only going to lead us even further down a conversational cul-de-sac, so I paid and made an uncomfortable exit. (What was I trying to achieve with this? Did I expect to interrogate her further and, at best, expose a harmless lie and at worst, reveal that she was actually telling the truth and was being berated for simply offering her thoughts on my purchase? I don’t honestly know.)

Incidentally, I have absolutely nothing against shop assistants (especially not those working for a chain that’s not doing so well – and believe me, I don’t want games shops to disappear from the high street) who are only trying to do their job. But the whole ‘commenting on your purchase’ thing doesn’t really happen elsewhere, such as a supermarket (“Diet Coke, today, sir? Excellent choice! And 30p off as well. We do just want to check, though, that you’ve read up on the potentially dangerous side-effects of artificial sweeteners”) – mainly because it’s not necessary: you’re at the till, wallet in hand having already made your decision to buy something.

Even so, there’s a part of me that’s disappointed that I can’t come up with anything good to say, because I like and know about games, and should therefore be fairly comfortable having a brief conversation about something that interests me. I guess both myself, and the shops, are stuck in the mindset that playing games is still a niche hobby, rather than an increasingly popular way for people to pass their time. I can’t, for example, remember ever having a conversation at the till about a DVD or CD that I’ve bought. People watch films, people buy music – it’s normal, and they don’t have to be connoisseurs of either to do so. Games aren’t quite there yet; we seem curiously attached to the odious ‘gamer’ label (and equally unappetising sub-groups, the ‘hardcore’ and the ‘casual’).

Anyway, I’m not really trying to make a serious point here; my main consideration when going into a shop is ‘do they have what I want at a price I’m willing to pay’ and everything else is largely immaterial. Hell, I even go into Computer Exchange on Tottenham Court Road during my lunch hour, which is the kind of experience that makes one pine for a forced verbal exchange with an over-friendly shop assistant. If there is a central argument here it is, mainly, that I’d really rather not talk to anyone, ever.

I’ll leave you with one final example, which is by far the worst (or best, depending on your perspective). I bought Test Drive Unlimited in Zavvi and the shop assistant, a pretty young girl with an Eastern European accent, examined the box and commented, with a smile, “This looks like a fun game, driving around in fast cars in the bright sunshine, with lots of beautiful scenery and women everywhere,” in a manner that suggested reasonably genuine gratitude for my custom but also utter bemusement that the product I was buying actually existed and that people gleaned enjoyment from it. With no obvious response presenting itself, I’m afraid to say that I simply flushed red and felt more embarrassed than if I had been buying a selection of pornography, a diarrhoea remedy and some haemorrhoid cream.

One of my many Steam sale purchases this Christmas was a game called Blur. It’s a racing game from developer Bizarre Creations (of Project Gotham Racing and, a long time ago, Formula 1 fame) which received a level of critical acclaim, but failed to sell as well as they, or indeed publisher Activision, would have liked (long story short: Bizarre is no more).

It’s a shame, because it’s actually really bloody good. Essentially Mario Kart with real cars, you take your pick from a selection of licensed vehicles, do a few laps and try to stay in the lead through a combination of driving skill and the skilful deployment of weaponry.

Hi there.

I hope you’re well. You look well. Have you lost weight? No, well, if anything I’ve put some on.

Our review for today is Spider-Man: The Movie

So Gog promised “One of our most requested classic games is coming to @GOGcom on the 19th. Hint: its name starts with S.”

Which immediately had me thinking SYSTEM SHOCK SYSTEM SHOCK SYSTEM SHO-

oh wait, it’s Syndicate. That’s a classic too! But they’ve managed to set the good news up in the just about the only way it could be end up being slightly disappointing!

(and this isn’t just me, go look at the official GOG wishlist. Shock 2 is in the lead by 5k votes, and Shock1 is next. )

Hi!

Remember that double-update we failed to deliver last time? No? Well look at the news post below, then, dummy.

Anyway, here’s what we’d hoped to bring you – the long-promised, and much delayed, review of Gabriel Knight: Sins of the Fathers.